When you come to see me as a couple, I can help each of you express your feelings, work through your differences and old hurts, and take your relationship to a more loving and intimate level.
How you each view the situation between you is important. Usually you are both right. Even more important is the stress engendered by certain kinds of interactions (usually old family patterns) that can bring out the worst, rather than the best in you. An important skill you can both cultivate in therapy is to bring your stress levels down during difficult interactions so that you have access to your best resources.
You will not only have an opportunity to express what you think, but you will also learn to use some basic embodiment exercises, breath and body awareness tools to de-stress and become more attuned to your deeper feelings and the internal cues in your body. This is called "embodied processing."
As you both become more tuned-in to your own bodies and the subtle messages that come from within, you will become more attuned to each other. In this way, you become more capable of working together as a team to meet your challenges and enjoy the gratifications of your life together.
FULL SPECTRUM SEX THERAPY
I work with all sexual issues and can help you better understand some of what you are experiencing. You will have an opportunity in therapy to talk openly about your concerns. I will also give you some exercises to experiment with at home that will help you relax your body and become more aware of your sexual feelings, inhibitions, desires, and pleasures.
Full spectrum sex therapy teaches you to use conscious breathing, felt-sense awareness of stress patterns and muscular tensions, and the safe and healing exploration of old emotional wounds related to sexuality that can block full sexual intimacy. As chronic tensions are released the body becomes more relaxed and open to the flow of pleasurable excitement.
When people who are under a lot of stress have sex, they often make love primarily to release tension. Tension-reduction sex is goal-oriented sex, and the major purpose for the contact is orgasm.
I contrast that with what I call embodied sex, where the contact becomes progressively more intimate and the partners practice relaxing into the excitement as it builds. Learning to use different patterns of breathing and caressing, and becoming more attuned to each other's energy, stimulates a fully embodied, emotionally connected, erotic, and at its best, transcendent experience.Embodied sex comes with a deep intimacy with your own body and body rhythms, as well as with the body and rhythms of your partner.